Second Chances Net

My mace came in handy.

This place is legit dangerous. First a deinonychus throwing a temper tantrum broke my foot, now I just had to laser the shit out of a snowman who was trying to impale us with icicles. Anyone have a shop vac?

Chase Stein, by the way.

Who's working on this anamoly? I have some interesting data points from my trip through.

Not that I have any interest in leaving.

If we are to combat the enemies that pour through the portal, we must be strong and we must fight together. We cannot pretend that these foes are harmless.

We must divide ourselves into three teams.

Home Team: Responsible for guarding those who cannot defend themselves, defending the tower itself from incursion and for monitoring all channels for internal and external incursion and coordinating between the teams.

Team Get Off Our Lawn : Stays within a five mile radius of the tower. They will fall back to defend the outside perimeter if necessary.

Team To Hell With Them: Handles everything beyond the five mile radius.

TGOOL and TTHWT will switch places and assist one another as needed.

Please assign yourself to one of these teams, that we may keep ourselves and our city safe. If you are unable to assign yourself, Iron Man and I will assign you.

Skaal

I know I should be concerned about, you know, getting killed and all.

But it's kind of like meeting celebrities. I'm fairly sure the Swamp Thing is in Central Park right now if anyone wants to take him down?

I don't want to sound ungrateful because I have so much family here.

But at the same time, being shoved into a dimension where your friends don't really exist is like... really lame.



So I'm going to go buy a bunch of donuts and have a "Be my Friend" Party for anyone who wants to come.

Thought for a minute that I was gonna get stuck in the portal like Winnie the Pooh thus plugging it for all time. No such luck, for this I am sorry.

Val, your horse is a miserable, bad tempered nag.

Tony, making my password Point Break was a dick move. Please have Friday change it to "DudeBr0cheezwizard"

Quill, I require the use of your ship.

Nat, I knew space magic would bring you back.

Bruce, Please explain.

Come on, Stark. Seriously?

Look. I get that you're super into trying new things and experimenting, but I really did not need the whole trip to a new dimension thing this soon after the last trip.

A girl can only handle so many trips from LA to Asgard, to New York, and back again.

Cool digs, though. And I guess the funds will hold me over for a while. It'll probably get me through three trips to Starbucks.

I'm Kate, by the way. Kate Bishop. Others call me Hawkeye. I'm definitely the cooler one.

Okay, which idiot caused me to arrive here? Also, I'm assuming there's something up with the timeline given this is being called Tony Stark's building?

I'm MJ Jones if anyone cares.

This is some serious elaborate prank. Like the kind I would pull off. What’s the punchline?

[Cassie]

Peanut, are you okay?

I have more questions:

1. Is this place a refugee camp for people who got booted from Comic-con? If so, I think there's been a mistake. I am so not a nerd.

2. What is a Thanos? It sounds like a boner pill.

3. Is a portal like a magical sphincter? If so, maybe a plug would help us out.

4. Why did the littletree kid kick me? kids are such jerks sometimes.

5. Are there parental controls on my phone? why won't tinder download?

Stark, what the hell? How are you even here and where is here and what happened to my Sanctum??

Tony, what did you do?

[Tony]
Are you real? Is this someone's idea of a joke? I can't handle it if it's a joke.

Really? After 8000 hell reboots, I end up in New York? Forking Shirtballs. I got the 411 from your hologram. Don't know who you are Tony Stark, but it would be a LOT easier to pay attention to your hologirl if she was wearing a thong, or maybe set it to music, Just a suggestion,

Also, to the jerk with the Walkman, Your sideburns aren't helping you.

Are there really aliens here? Inquiring minds want to know.

Anyone seen a super serious guy in a mailman uniform? A chick with legs up to THERE? A guy from Jacksonville, Florida?

Anyone? Bueller?

[Filtered to May Parker]

Hey. I don't suppose I could get a favor from you, could I?

For those who don't know me, I'm Valkyrie - Queen of New Asgard and here like everyone else. I'll be helping Tony out, since what else am I going to do? You have any issues he can't solve, let me know, I'll punch them into submission.

What superhero thing is going on now? Where is my kid?

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